The Power of Warmth: Why Kindness Beats Being Impressive
Anxious people tend to obsess over competence in social situations: seeming smart, saying the clever thing, not making mistakes. They are trying to win peo...
Category
Making Friends and Connection
How to Make Friends as an Adult
Somewhere in adulthood, many people look up and realize they are lonelier than they meant to be. The friendships of school and college, formed almost by ac...
How to Turn an Acquaintance Into a Friend
Many people are surrounded by acquaintances and starved of friends. They have colleagues, classmates, neighbors, and familiar faces, but the warm, trusting...
Loneliness Is Common, and It Is Not a Verdict on You
Loneliness carries a special sting because it seems to say something shameful about you: that you are unwanted, that everyone else has the connections you...
How to Handle Group Settings and Parties Without a Safety Person
Many socially anxious people can manage a party or a group, but only with a safety person: a partner or close friend they cling to the whole time, whose pr...
How to Keep Friendships Alive When Reaching Out Feels Hard
Making a friend is one challenge; keeping the friendship alive is another, and for people who fear being a burden or who freeze at reaching out, existing f...
How to Stop Comparing Your Social Life to Everyone Else's
Few things make social anxiety heavier than comparison: the sense that everyone else has the effortless friendships, the packed calendar, the belonging you...
Why Connection Is About Being Interested, Not Interesting
Here is an idea that overturns the way most anxious people approach social situations: connection is not about being interesting; it is about being interes...
Building a Life of Belonging, One Small Step at a Time
Underneath every specific goal, quieting the fear, making a friend, surviving a rejection, lies the real aim: to build a life of belonging, in which you ar...
Dating and Romance When You Have Social Anxiety
Dating asks for exactly what social anxiety fears most: putting yourself forward, being evaluated, risking rejection, and being seen up close. It is no won...
Where to Meet People When You Have Social Anxiety
If you want friends but do not know where to find them, you are asking the right question, because for adults, where you look matters as much as how you ac...